Shaka Shaka Shaka sssssssssssss......

That was the sound my bicycle made yesterday afternoon after I picked it up from the bike shop. The tyres were very flat, and I'm so smart that I don't even know how to operate the air pump on my bike. So I took the bike down to the shop in Durban and the kid with a fauxhawk showed me how to use the air pump, and then he used the shop's pump to inflate the tyres. I guess he put a wee bit too much air in the front tyre because I got halfway home, to the casino in fact, and as I circled back around for Ali, the tyre punctured. To be precise, the inner tube punctured, but I might have to buy a new tread as well.

The weather is turning out nicely these days, and I've noticed that Bertram is a little confused. I saw him circling the other day, being harried by seagulls but no doubt he was looking for his roost, or the mast on the yacht. Bert is a bald eagle who perches on the high mast of the yacht (when its here), but Bobby is still somewhere down the coast. It serves a dual purpose I guess, Bert gets a place to sit and lord over the entire inlet, and I (we) get a built in security system. It could be unrelated, but I like to think that the presence of a great big eagle keeps the squatters from making themselves at home on the boat. As a way to encourage this, I have been rowing out and throwing the occasional dead rat over the topside. And I guess Bert has been at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, Aerie No. 47 where I sometimes vote, telling his friends because there's more of them:

In the voice of my new professor, a Cambridge man

Bert: You know, its the most extraordinary thing, Edward! I don't know how it happened, but I was soaring in the harbour the other day and there were dead rats all over the place!

Edward (another eagle): Really? You don't say, Bertie! Have you had more than your usual double gin martini?

B: Absolutely, old chap. I can show you if you like. You know? The rat population is exploding in this city. Isn't that why you brought your family here?

E: Yes, yes. I know about the exploding rat population and all that business, but what were they doing in the harbour?

B: Oh, excuse me. Waiter! Another dry gin martini. Another whiskey, Eddie?

E: Actually, if you don't mind I'll take a Copenhagen. A double.

B: Anyway, I have the most fantastic arrangement. I like to take a run down to the harbour now and then when the weather is fine and look for anything to eat. Those damn seagulls just don't understand. I'm not interested in eating their babies.

E: Oh, yes. Those damn seagulls.

B: Anyway, there's a boat that I use to survey the harbour, and the human that owns the boat throws me rats once or twice a month. Can you believe that?

E: I say, Bertie. You do have it well. They don't usually behave that way.

B: I know, I know. Usually, they just stop and stare. I do a few loops, an occasional dive and then I'm off. But this one feeds me nice fat, juicy rats. They're dead though.

E: Oh, that's a shame. Nothing like live prey squirming in your talons. The harbour you say......?

End scene

And that's how I imagine it happened. From one eagle to another at the club. The club where I sometimes vote. The last time I voted there, I believe I voted in a Federal election for something called the Naked Garden Party. They sounded like a fun bunch. Shame they weren't elected to Parliament. The way I figure, all political parties are going to Roger me, so I vote for the one most likely to cuddle afterward.

A few days later, after I saw Bertie circling, there was a news story about the growing eagle population in the city, not the area, the city. We've already got coyotes in city parks, and now we have an estimated 300 eagles nesting in the city. I'd like to see the sample data on that one, I think the sample was skewed a bit because the number can't be more than 60, not that I'm a member of the Audubon Society or anything. I've got more important things to do than count birds. But seriously, what a way to spin a story about the unprecedented rodent population here. 'Hey Mr. Reporter, why don't you do a story about all them there rats?'(kid points to rats skulking near a popular fast food restaurant) - Media Disconnect - 'Great idea! You've got rats, but look at all those EEEEEEEAGLES! I can lead with this, thanks kid! I owe you.' Reporter scurries off, not unlike a rat.

All this nice weather is really making it difficult for me to do my school work, and its not conducive to watching films. What with Ali wanting to go to the nude beach and check out all the junk. I don't think she realizes that photos are not welcome at the beach. We rented another Juzo Itami film last week. Ososhiki or The Funeral stars the two main characters from Tampopo, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. This was actually the second time I'd seen this film, and apparently totally forgot almost everything about it including the fact that I totally hated it. According to things I've read about this film, the nuances are very, very subtle in this film but its allegedly a comedy. I didn't laugh and neither did Ali. I nodded off, but she said she liked it, and understood it but couldn't really explain the meaning.

I can't recommend this film, unless you want to see funeral sex. Not the kind of funeral sex that played at the Sick and Twisted film festival (Good times, good times *wipes tear from eye*), but sex between two living people at a funeral. Apart from that, and the country house (Eeeee!), this film can stay on the shelf, especially if you hate reading subtitles. A little harsh? Maybe I'm just pissed that I can't get back those two hours and use them to catch up on my readings.

I got a post card from Orange Peel, who by now is on a plane somewhere coming home, but at the time was in Australia. The post card, of course was tasteless, but worthy of a good laugh, and I'd expect nothing else from OP. As May creeps up, I'm trying to get back into shape, which was the whole point of the bicycle thing I mentioned at the top. Ali knows this and wants to help because, like I said, she wants to check out the nude beach. This is her idea of help, or more accurately encouragement. I woke up one morning and found a note that Ali had left the night before: 'Moja Moja Dax, Go to Trey. kthxbai' My limited knowledge of Japanese actually helped me out here but what she meant to say is 'Dax, You are hairy. Please go see Trey (and get a wax). Okay, thanks. Bye.' I guess its about time.

A final note for anyone who cares: Regarding the contest for a trip for two to France, the draw was on April 20, and not a peep from the contest organizers. I figured the results would be published since the contest rules made it quite clear that the organizers would be able to use our names and phone numbers. I couldn't find the results anywhere, and the organizers' website was suspiciously inoperative. A phone number was posted on the page so I called it. Turns out, I won - second prize or so the so, so nice lady on the other end of the line said. She told me to wait for the waiver to come in the post next week, but if you ask me it was all a little too easy. Maybe I was the second caller. Perhaps if I had called earlier, I'd have won and I'd be on a plane to France right now. But I'm not, and that's okay because summer is here. And if that means that I have to drive around with all the windows down because my Jeep smells of KFC, then it will be done.