Actually I Would Like to Eat My Cake and Have It Too.

It's been a while since I've seen any movies, and I'll be pulling it all from memory but I saw some really, really good ones on the weekend. It all started with wanting to see Hot Fuzz starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, both of Shaun of the Dead. Again, Edgar Wright directs. This was a film that I looked for while I was in Japan, and couldn't find it obviously because it hasn't been released on video yet. I found that out at the video shop on Friday. I thought I'd go for Kaidan nobori ryu, aka The Blind Woman's Curse starring Meiko Kaji who would later star in Joshuu 701-gô: Sasori. No luck, someone had already rented it. There was a new guy working the counter, so I thought I'd let him choose. I asked for anything by Park Chan-uk. He listed off the usual films, and then added Saam gaang yi or Three... Extremes.

"I'll take it!" Now I should have been tipped off by the behaviour of the new clerk, but I guess he wasn't having a good day. He sent me home with Saam gaang, the "sequel" to the movie I had asked for. I also went home with JSA: Joint Security Area. I got through two of the short films in Saam gaang before I realized that I had the wrong video. The shorts on this disc were entertaining, especially the third. The first one is called Memories, a Korean film directed by Kim Ji-woon starring Jeong Bo-seok, and Kim Hye-su as a married couple. I have to say that I couldn't tell what was going on in these short films, so I'll just kind of relate my interpretations. In this one, the wife has gone missing and is seen in a series of flashbacks, which may or may not be contemporary. The husband does not recollect what has happened to his wife, but she is a ghost. She is trying to rejoin her family in their new home, but cannot reach them. You know, ghosts can't use the telephone. The movie goes along with the husband denying that he killed his wife, but that he really wants to remember what happened to her. He then sees a duffel bag (why is it always a duffel bag?) in his living room, and opens it to find the body of his wife. The rest of the film depicts the woman realizing that she is a ghost and the husband perhaps remembering that he killed her in the first place. Nothing really new here.

The second film is a Thai film called The Wheel directed by Nonzee Nimibutr. I have no idea why this film is called The Wheel, because there isn't a single wheel in it anywhere. It's about a group of performers who fight over the puppets they use in their shows. Apparently, these puppets control the performers and cause bad things to happen. Not a lot going on here.

The next day, I called the video shop and told them what had happened and they offered to exchange this disc for the right one. Well, not before I watched the rest of it. I'm glad I did. The third was the best of the three I thought. Written by Teddy Chan, the same guy who directed Wan 9 zhao 5, this movie stars Eric Tsang, yes executive producer Eric Tsang, and follows the story of a single father trying to find his missing son. He suspects his neighbour, a guy who pushes his wife around in a wheelchair because she is dead. But you aren't supposed to know that yet. Anyway, the neighbour had strangled his sick wife and bathes her daily in a mixture of chinese herbs to keep her refreshed. He also talks to her so that her spirit knows that it has not been forgotten. Peter Ho-sun Chan does a great job directing the story. Tsang's character is held captive by the neighbour because he doesn't want anyone to find out about his dead wife, but eventually they do and he gets arrested. By this time, the wife is beginning to return to a healthy life after three years of being looked after daily by her husband when he is suddenly killed in a car accident. The wife does not receive the final care she needs and dies for good in the police morgue. Tsang later reviews video cassettes found in the neighbour's flat only to find that the guy was not crazy, that he himself was brought back to life by his wife several years before. It had been his turn to care for his wife by doing the same thing she had done to him. Now that the husband and wife were permanently dead, their unborn daughter could now join them in the afterlife. I don't remember if Tsang's son is ever found, but it was the ghost of the daughter that lured him away to begin with. This was the best of the three films.

I went back to the video store and exchanged the disc for the one I wanted originally, and came home with three more shorts. Director Fruit Chan was first up. Dumplings stars Miriam Yeung Chin Wah as an aging wife who wants to retain her youth, attract more attention from her husband and have a child. The film also stars Bai Ling. She's famous, I guess. Anyway, the squeamish should read no further. I figured out the plot to this film at about the same time that Bai Ling says she is her own best advertisement. Bai cooks dumplings which have a reputation of helping people stay young. What's the special ingredient? Babies. Yup, babies. How does she get these babies? You don't think she cooks all day, do you? Nope, she finds wayward girls who are in a situation and helps them out. See, she helps them and they help her. Everybody wins. Of course, Bai is no professional and she ends up killing one of the girls I think. She disappears after it is discovered that one of the babies was the product of incest and has created nasty dumplings. Yeung's character is sickened to learn what she has become part of and after discovering that she is now pregnant, she aborts the pregnancy. Now the really fucked up shit happens right here. She continues to eat the dumplings. What? I thought she no longer wanted to have a baby. I might have missed something here because the subtitling was white on white a lot of the time, but it seemed to me that she really didn't care about having a kid and just wanted to stay looking young to satisfy her vanity. Good film, easy plot but it's put me off dumplings for a long time.

The second film is Cut by Park chan-uk, starring Lee Byung-hun, Lim Won-hie, and Kang Hye-jeong. I found this film to be a lot like Takashi Miike's Bijitâ Q, in that it involves a stranger who manipulates a family. In the film, a director is subdued in his own home by an extra who appeared in all of the director's films. The extra has a bit of a problem because he is jealous of the wealthy, virtuous, well-liked director who is a contrast to his own life. The extra somehow feels that the director should be punished for his goodness and has wrangled the director's wife to a piano and has ordered the director to sin by killing a girl who happens to be tied up on the sofa. If he doesn't do it, the extra will cut off the fingers of the piano-playing wife. Eventually, the director attempts to kill the girl and discovers that it is in fact the son of the extra, whom the extra could not kill himself that morning. The wife manages to bite a chunk out of the extra's jugular, only to witness the son swear revenge as his father bleeds out. Again, I missed a lot because of the white on white thing, but it was pretty fucked up. But in Park's style, the viewer is challenged to determine what is right and wrong.

And for a little treat, the third film was directed by none other than Takashi Miike and was called Box. This is the story of a young woman who is haunted by the ghost of her sister, whom she accidentally killed as a child in a circus fire. The twin sisters are contortionists who work in a magic act, but as the magician favours one sister, the other becomes jealous. She locks her sister in a box and unfortunately causes a fire before her sister can be released. The magician reunites with the woman, and tells her that he wanted to do them both and that he liked them equally. At about that time, he grabs a sheet of polyurethane and pulls it over the girl's head. A lot of this is dream sequence and flashbacks and I'm not sure what really happens in the end, but I think the older sister gets buried alive. Some people have suggested that the two sisters are actually siamese twins who dream of being separated, but I'm the type of person to watch a film over and over again to try and analyze everything, or count legs.

JSA: Joint Security Area stars Lee Byung-hun of Cut, Lee Yeong-ae of Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, and Song Kang-ho also from Lady Vengeance, but perhaps better known for his role in Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. Lee Yeong-ae, who is allegedly fluent in English, plays a Swiss soldier sent to investigate a double homicide on the Korean border and locate the missing bullet. She's not fluent in English, and it really messed up the flow of the film. Lee Byung-hun plays a South Korean soldier who is saved on a reconnaissance mission by a pair of North Korean soldiers, one of them played by Song Kang-ho. Lee is thankful to the North Koreans and sends them gifts. He develops a friendship with his enemies and establishes a routine of crossing the border and fraternizing. He ropes his new partner into the friendship and the four men carry on like there is no such thing as the DMZ. At some point, the four are discovered by a North Korean officer who has a bit of a Mexican standoff with the southerners. He gets distracted by a stereo, and takes one in the head. The two South Korean soldiers and escape while the second North Korean is also left dead. The film dissects the murder scene from different points of view. The junior South Korean soldier tries to commit suicide, forcing Lee Yeong-ae to decide who tells the better story, Lee Byung-hun or Song Kang-ho. This is part of Park's greatness, he can tell the story like no one else. In the end, Lee Yeong-ae is removed from the case because she is trying to uncover the truth, rather than reinforce the official view. The two former friends turn on each other and Lee Byung-hun is eventually implicated in the death of the North Korean officer and junior soldier. He manages to wrangle the side arm from a South Korean MP and commits suicide in front of Lee Yeong-ae, who has just learned the truth of that night but has promised to deliver a report clearing the South Korean of any wrongdoing. The only soldier to survive the investigation is Song Kang-ho who continues to serve the Republic as a guard in the DMZ. Seven movies for the price of two. Not bad.

Just a Little Something

It's been bugging me ever since Foxy came home from the hospital. I even tried to catch the look a few times, but what infant holds a pose? But she looks like one of my favourite actors, Oliver Platt. Although, with that face, Foxy reminds me of this guy. I couldn't find the right photo, but I'm sure I've seen this look before. Maybe this one is better.

If you think comparing the cutest baby west of the international dateline to photos of old(er) men is a mean thing to do, at least I'm not dressing my daughter in ridiculous outfits, or amusing myself by feeding her pickled onions. Ali does that sort of thing. Like mum used to say, it's cheaper than movies, and in some cases funnier. Ice cream when she's older. It would be just cruel at this age. Actually, all of our friends and family have been blessed with an acute sense of baby fashion. My fave is the handknit hand-me-down pantsuit she received from her cousin. Oh, and the cape... What baby needs a cape? Don't say Superbaby.

A Reason to Crack Open a Can of Iced Coffee

I had a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to write about on here, but it's been so long now that I only remember Tommy Lee Jones and some stuff about kosher meals on my flight. We all know that Hollywood stars come to Japan to film endorsements that never get seen back in the States. A very famous example is Sean Connery's ads for Suntory whiskey, and another is Cameron Diaz' multimedia campaign for a cell phone company. You pretty much see cutouts of her in every mall you might visit. I'll bet you didn't know this, or perhaps Tommy Lee Jones doesn't want you to know but in his spare time he is a champion race horse trainer and relaxes after every win with a can(!) of Boss' Rainbow Mountain Blend iced coffee. There's no better way to celebrate for Tommy - at least that's what the commercials want you to think. I liked that commercial because at least the ad tried to tell a story. Others are just straight plugs.

I have now seen the complete filmography of Wes Anderson and I hope to see The Darjeeling Limited with Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody when it finally comes out. I saw The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou starring Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Anjelica Huston, Cate Blanchett, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum and Michael Gambon of Layer Cake. Also very briefly Seymour Cassels. For kicks, I asked my wife to check the video store for Bottle Rocket, but in her typical style she guessed what the clerk would say and told me they don't have it. This is the biggest problem I have with Ali - if I ask her to do something, she'll come up with a reason not to do it, or sometimes no reason at all. This is of course a small problem in the grand scheme so I don't let it bother me. too much. So we spent forty-five minutes in the place looking for Bottle Rocket because they sort it by genre. Well, what if the renter has never seen the fucking movie, dumbass? Or what if it spans several genres? How do you catalogue it then, Dewey? After some prompting at the counter, the clerk told us that Bottle Rocket wasn't in their system. I asked for Wes Anderson and she listed off everything she had. One I had never heard of before, so I asked her to get it for me. She brought back Andy's Happy Motel aka Bottle Rocket. See? We wasted forty minutes all because Ali didn't want to ask a question. We also rented Enquete Corse because it looked interesting and had Jean Reno on the cover.

I first watched The Life Aquatic which is about a whacky marine biologist whose time is torn between searching the ocean for the shark that killed his best friend and self-promotion. He makes films to show his colleagues and benefactors, and gives interviews for a cover story, and has a press agent to handle all this stuff, and runs a fan club. I found that part of the movie very intriguing. What I really liked about the film was Anderson's make believe. I don't know the actual term for it, suspension of disbelief or something, but he exaggerated the backstory to make it believable, but improbable. It wasn't a total fiction, but everything was pushed to the limit to appear as though it could have been true somewhere, but it wasn't. For example, it is possible to have a steam room designed by a scientist from the Chinese space program, but it is improbable that anyone actually does. Anderson does this in all of his movies, though not as much in his first film. Rushmore had it, The Royal Tennenbaums had a pantload of it.

In The Life Aquatic, Steve Zissou is also approached by a man who claims to be his son. Throughout most of the film, the pair spend time together and work to discover if Ned, played by Wilson is his son. Both claim that they don't know, but both do know and they know that the other knows. Neither wants to call the other a liar, so they carry on the innocent bit. Zissou tries to have an affair with an already pregnant journalist (Blanchett) who is really interested in Ned, while trying to mend things up with his wife, played by Huston. There is also a bit of a rivalry between Ned and Klaus, played by Dafoe, the first mate on the ship who has always looked up to Steve like a father.

While hunting for the shark, the boat is hijacked by pirates and an underwriter is kidnapped from the ship. Zissou searches high and low for the underwriter, whom he doesn't really like anyway, and finally finds him at a deserted resort, held captive alongside Zissou's rival and fellow researcher played by Goldblum. Klaus dynamites the hotel, finally stepping up and becoming his own man. I don't remember exactly why, but Steve and Ned, a pilot by profession, decide to take up the rickety helicopter that accompanies the Belafonte. The engine fails and the chopper crashes into the ocean. Ned bleeds out and Steve is rescued. Steve finds the shark, and does not kill it as per his contract, and manages to get another movie completed.

Before I forget, I want to mention the cutaway of the Belafonte. Apparently, this was a massive undertaking, but just by watching the film, you can already see that. There are two scenes in which the cutaway is used, the first and most artistic in my opinion is the part where Steve describes his boat. It's very well done in Anderson's way, with stage displays and music like a little vignette. Anyway, there's a reason you don't see this in a lot of Hollywood movies, and that is that it takes time and effort to put something like this together. I'm glad Anderson did it.

Although the closing credits thank but deny any association to Jacques Cousteau, it is obvious that the whole movie is heavily based on him. I guess that's part of the reason why I was drawn to this film in the first place. Being the son of a whacky marine biologist, and being well, I won't say forced... allowed to watch Cousteau's material on the telly when I was little probably helped create a personal interest in this film.

Alright, next up is Enquete Corse, or the somewhat more promising title The Corsican File starring Jean Reno, Christian Clavier, and Caterina Murino who also appeared in Casino Royale which starred Daniel Craig from a great movie called Layer Cake. Ahem, anyway I nearly shut this one off because of the cheesy music at the opening. It was clear that this was not a cloak and dagger type film as the box cover photo had insinuated. That's all I had to go on. Everything was written in Japanese. So the opening credits mentioned that the film was based on a comic book. As I reached for the eject button on the remote, I remembered that actually some of my preferred films are based on comic books. For instance, Ichii the Killer. I'd give Jean Reno another chance. The movie was essentially a live action retelling of the comic book, and though I applaud the fact that they stayed true to the original I also feel that this was their Achilles' heel. The movie was basically flat, telling the story of a private detective (Clavier) who is sent to deliver a letter to someone in Corsica. The private detective believes that the person he is looking for has inherited some money, but eventually discovers that his target is a fugitive and that he has been sent to Corsica to flush out the criminal.

So like I said, the movie is flat and fairly predictable if you are familiar with stereotypical French humour. They spend about half the movie playing cat and mouse, about twenty minutes cracking jokes about the differences between Islanders and Continentals, and the rest of the movie trying to sort the whole mess out - which it is, in the end. There's not much else worth mentioning about this film except that there was a character named Figoli, played by a dude named Pido. He bears a strong resemblance attitudinally to Bruno Lucia who played a character named Wayne Lovett in an Australian television show called All Together Now.

And now we come to Andy's Happy Motel, Wes Anderson's first film which was later made into a feature length film starring co-writer Owen Wilson, his brothers Luke and Andrew Wilson, James Caan, Robert Musgrave and Lumi Cavazos. So why is it called Andy's Happy Motel? Because Andy (Luke Wilson) meets Inez (Cavazos) at the motel and falls in love with her. Andy has just been "busted out" of a mental hospital by his friend Dignan, played by Owen Wilson who has also planned a crime spree to impress his former employer Mr. Henry (Caan). It appears that Dignan is a failure so far in his young life, and hopes to turn things around with this new venture. They recruit their friend Bob (Musgrave) as the wheelman and convince Mr. Henry to let them do a job. Mr. Henry is more than happy to let them handle a heist at a refrigerated warehouse, and very soon it is understood why. Bob comes from a wealthy family, and any reason to get Bob and his friends out of the house is a good reason because while Dignan and Bob and Andy are trying to rob the refrigerated warehouse, Mr. Henry is robbing Bob. Simple. Of course, Dignan loses control of the robbery at the warehouse and one of his crew is shot. While the rest of the crew scatter, Dignan goes back into the warehouse to get Applejack, played by Jim Ponds. He believes he won't get caught because he is "fuckin' innocent". He gets caught and serves twenty-four months in jail, while everyone else gets away with it. Dignan has a fascination with bottle rockets, and I guess that's why the film is called Bottle Rocket, but it could also be used as a metaphor for Dignan's life. Quick, fast, brilliant and then suddenly, nothing. He serves time in jail believing that he will be able to continue this criminal enterprise upon release and shows that he doesn't quite learn from his mistakes. We never really find out because the movie ends right there. I liked this movie, but it was easy to see why the initial cut received poor ratings from the focus groups. The story is hardly original, but it is told in a very simple way and it is clear why Wes Anderson has become a much sought-after Hollywood director.