Saturday, May 24, 2008

What I Hate About Japan and Things to Work On

We're at that point now, the really relaxing time right between "It's going to happen" and "Holy shit it's going to happen soon!" We're going back to Japan for a few weeks next month, and I'm not going to hole myself up on the estate and go stir crazy this time.

I pledge to train, and to walk the dog in the rice paddies - ticks be damned. And I pledge to go to Tokyo as often as possible because that's where most of Ali's friends live and most of my friends in Japan are there too. I pledge not to eat and eat and eat because it's the only thing interesting to do, like last time. I pledge not to drink as much as I did last time, but I will still drink a few beers as a courtesy.

I pledge to avoid Japanese television as much as possible because it has some of the silliest shows I have ever seen. I had a whole essay ready about Japanese television, but it's very random and disjointed. It's enough to say that Japanese television is generally infotainment, heavily reliant on the cult of personality and it's followers. There's good Japanese television and there's really shitty Japanese television.

A good example would be this, even though it's based entirely around the personailty: I recently caught Ali watching a show where a group of comedians sit around a table and tell stories, judged by the others whether the stories are funny. This has such a simple premise, low production cost and can be very funny. Do we have this on American television? No. For various reasons, I suppose, the biggest being a perception of self-indulgence or gossip. I would like to see this type of show here.

I talked Genya into looking after our flat while we are away. I mentioned he could bring his girlfriend over. He giggled like a little schoolboy. Not sure if it's because I'm not supposed to know about the girlfriend, or if it's because he realizes that I know what a dirty monkey he can be. Our place is much nicer than his - a two-room apartment in Brooklyn ankle deep in cigarette butts, fast food and pot noodle garbage. He doesn't even have a bed. He's got a mattress on the floor in what is supposed to be the bedroom. I'm assuming his girlfriend has never seen his apartment because I want to believe she has standards.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sayonara Iron Man

There's just too much time between these posts nowadays, I never know where to begin. I'll think of a little mot, and then forget about it by the time I sit down at the computer. May is always a bit of a problem for me. Five birthdays all in the same week. True, there's a little double counting in there. Labour Day must have been very popular with my ancestors. So it all becomes a bit of a binge (and purge), alcohol-fueled blur for me and my brother. My birthday was kept low key, as I like it but I always seem to squeeze in a little time for Bobby and a pint. He came over this year, rather late for dinner but he did have a slice of matcha cake and then off we went to the local before Ali could say no. We planned on two pints, but cut it short because the pub was a little too loud for our aging ears. On the way back to my flat, Bobby started talking to a random stranger. At least I thought she was a random stranger, but only Bobby could skulk in the worst part of town and find someone he knows from his travels. A lovely girl she was, so lovely in fact that we joined her and her friends for a pitcher of margueritas. And it so happened that her friend was also having a birthday. Unfortunately, Bobby and I felt like we were crashing the party so somewhere after the joints but before ordering we bailed. I actually used my wife as an excuse and flashed my wedding ring. I felt lame, but at my age I think you can do it in an emergency. Bobby thanked me for that on the way home - I don't know why, he's the one who stopped her, not vice versa.

The next day, Randy called and acted surprised that it was my birthday the day before. He asked me if I wanted to go see Iron Man starring Robert Downey Jr. You may have heard of it. I'm not a big comic book movie fan, but I went to see this one based almost completely on what Fireangel had to say about it. But also because Randy invited me. I'm not going to waste any time writing about this movie because everyone else has. Some people, like Fireangel, twice. I think she feels about this movie the way I feel about Layer Cake and Chinjeolhan geumjassi. Iron Man is awesome. That's all I'm going to say, except to say that awesome is an understatement. You know, if the jazzish albums didn't restart Downey's career, this movie certainly did.

The thing that really did it for me, and it won't do it for you because you weren't sitting where I was sitting, was the psychopath sitting next to me and Randy. We were late as usual, and the last two seats in the theatre were third row centre. Odd. We grabbed them, and I spent the next two hours on the edge of my seat (closest to Randy and as far away from the nutter). I was genuinely afraid. He was talking to the movie, cringing and alternatively covering his eyes, curling up into a modified fetal position, and eventually screaming at the movie. He even clapped at times, as though Tony Stark could hear him, as though his encouragement was willing Stark to succeed. And okay, we all know, or know of a person who has gone to say, a horror film and has said, or uttered something at the movie screen. I'm not talking about a 7 year old kid helplessly reaching over the balcony of the top tier to save Luke Skywalker from jumping into the carbon freezer in The Empire Strikes Back. I'm talking about a full-on crazyman who scratched and saved every penny he could to buy a ticket to see Iron Man. I think I kept an eye on him, more than I did the movie. And if you haven't been told already, stay through to the end credits. If not to see that the character Ahmed was actually played by a guy named Ahmed Ahmed, then at least to see a little surprise.

And so off we went, and as we walked around looking for a bar I saw one of my former, hot neighbours. I shouted hello, she waved enthusiastically. She had no idea who I was. Randy and I tried like four bars, all had line ups and Randy really wanted to get his drink on so I offered the possibility of going to Ali's old place of employment and throwing back a few $12.00 beers. Randy's only response was, "I thought that was a grocery store". I knew what he meant. We found a restaurant nearby that had a special on short pints, and that was good enough for Randy. We had a couple slices to go and the evening air was so nice, we sat outside. Technically illegal, I believe. We almost got a plate of honey garlic wings because the girl behind the counter confused "honey lager" with "honey garlic". Understandable, and yet in a way, ununderstandable. After we got a little chilly, we moved back inside and I explained my horrible week to Randy. He gave me some little chestnuts of advice. We had another round. Randy went to the loo, and I checked out the beer cooler. This little restaurant actually had more varieties of beer than most bars. My pint lifting arm was beginning to ache because of my new Wii. Ali, my wife who complains that I spend too much time gaming, got me a Wii for my birthday, but didn't give it to me until the day after. We spent the morning playing tennis, and by the time I went drinking my arm was sore. Amazingly, this recent bender has not affected my weight loss campaign.

A recently advertised seat sale gave me the idea to send Ali home for a visit as a Mothers' Day gift. There were a few hitches due to the whole immigration process, but by Tuesday she told me that she had been cleared to travel, and by Thursday she had my credit card in the fat hands of a travel agent. This was last minute, so last minute that I even told a few friends that it wasn't going to happen. So last minute that the return flight isn't even in the seat sale window, so we had to pay a little extra. No seat sale folks, it cost me the same to fly to Japan last year. The difference in slashed fares is only being added to the cost of fuel. The only change is that we are flying direct, whereas last year I had to transfer out of SFO and in at LAX. Free trip to Japan - sounds like a cracking Mothers' Day gift.

We had a party for Foxy this week too. Kind of ruined it for her though when I dove into the swimming pool. It scared her big. Today I bumped into one of my cooler neighbours. Never really quite knew what he did, and in my building you don't really ask because this happens. It's about that time of year isn't it? Now I know. He has a restaurant, and it's finally open. I've actually heard things about this place from my co-workers. Orange Peel has been there, and if she says it's good, you just know. It's a small world, and you can't make it much smaller than three doors down. When we can actually afford to start eating out again, we'll book a table at Ari's.