Finally, a Wedding Reception Where I Won't be Serving

So ummm, yeah. It's been quite awhile since I've posted an entry about movies, or about anything for that matter. I was hoping to bring a review of Old Boy by Park Chan-uk, but I haven't really had time for that lately. Things are going better at work, slightly. I was asked to interview for a posting in a different part of the company which would have moved me away from evil Tintin, but he's not so evil anymore. I get him, and he gets me so we kind of feed off of each other in good way. It's still shite, but at least we're working together.

I saw The Departed again last night with Orange Peel and her boyfriend. If I needed any further proof that nobody reads this blog, OP's boyfriend asked me if I had seen this movie. Of course I had man, I reviewed it like 3 months ago. I left about halfway through the movie though because I wanted to get home to watch a Texas Hold'em tournament which happened not to air, but also because I was holding precious and semi-precious stones and I didn't want to get mugged in late night Newark.

Security is out the window now. Which is one very good reason not to let your girlfriend leave the country with your backup set of door keys. I came home one particularly shitty afternoon only to find a hard-looking Asian dude sitting very comfortably on the settee. He looked at me with a goofy grin and said "Irashai-i!", but before I could figure out what was going on, he swooped around me and blocked the door.

"Relax, Dax. Sit down... You know me, don't you? I'm a friend of Ali's, I'm Genya. As you know, your life is undergoing big changes right now and Kohei-san has sent me here to give you good encouragement".

"Huh?"

"Kohei-san and his wife want some assurances. We know you are a good guy and that you want to do the right thing, but even good guys get scared sometimes".

I was stunned. Mostly because Genya's English was a lot better than I had ever imagined, but also partly because I was still trying to figure out how he ever got into my flat.

"How did you bloody....?"

He dangled Ali's key fob in front of me and giggled a little like a girl for a second, and then tossed the fob onto the kitchen marble. I scanned the flat quickly, the safe was untouched, and did some mental calculations to decide if I could make it down the hall to my night stand in time. I decided not to try.

He could see that I was trying to figure out what to do so he grabbed my shoulders and turned me away from the door.

"Calm down. We're not in Japan, my options are limited here. You're part of the family now! We should be celebrating. I just want to talk to you for a little bit so I can report good news back to Kohei-san". And then he smacked me, patted my shoulder, and hopped into the kitchen.

"Where is the sake? I know you've got some in this place".

"I don't keep it in the kitchen. It's in the bar, next to the dining table".

"Sit down man! I'll pour - you don't take it heated do you?"

"No. Are you going to hit me again?"

"I don't think so, as long as we work toward the common goal".

"Huh?"

"You know, reading the same book", as he unfolded his hands into the shape of an open book.

"Oh, you mean the same page!"

"Ah, yes! Sorry for my English. Sometimes your idioms are very strange. Sit! Sit! Cheers, old boy!"

We sipped sake for a few moments, saying nothing, just sizing the other one up. Genya was a little hesitant at first, I could tell he didn't really like this part. He put down his sake and cautiously began.

"Dax, I like you. Ali likes you. Kohei-san likes you, and he doesn't even know you. You should be grateful that Ali's mother said such good things about you".

"More sake, please".

He poured me a wee dram.

"I know you're nervous Dax, but I keep telling you that you have no reason to be. I'm just here to let you know that Kohei-san is watching. As you know, in Japan, Kohei has some notoriety. You don't need to concern yourself with that however, you are gaijin. Kohei-san and his wife just want what's best for Ali. We want you to come to Japan for a little while. When can you manage it?"

"I want to come to Japan, but it's not so easy. For starters, I haven't got a passport, so that will take a few weeks. Then I've got my contract - I can't just break it - and then there's school..."

"Already done. I've looked into it and apparently your college does not care if you take the summer semester off-"

"But that's in May! Right now it's February."

"In May, your contract will be over and you will have a new passport. So where's the problem? You can't just get married and leave your wife in Japan. Work with me Dax."

"I am. I am, but these things take time. If Kohei-san is worried about Ali, then he shouldn't worry. Everything is in place, the church, the reception, the photographer, the car service... He's bloody coming for the ceremony! So, there is no problem."

"Good. But we are still concerned about you coming to Japan. You could be a teacher."

"I'd be more successful as a bartender, believe me. In any event, I am coming to Japan but only on a short term basis. Ali's cool with that, and so am I. Kohei-san doesn't need to worry".

"Good". And then he hit me again. When I woke up, the spare set was gone again.

I'm like Enzo's cat. We forget to drink water, but instead of ending up in the vet's office with a $500 bill for fluids, I end up in the hospital with kidney stones. And I get super drunk super fast. I've been training for the wedding. Seriously, I've been spending enough time in the gym to actually break a sweat - but I've sorta been cheating too. The quickest way to lose weight temporarily is to stop drinking fluids. This is an old boxing trick that has worked for me a few times before, but I'm not really trying to do it this time. It's actually quite dangerous. In my case, it can aggravate kidney stones, causing them to shift and put me in the hospital. This has never actually been a result of forced dehydration for me, but it's something I worry about now. I'm getting my old form back, and I'm trying to add a little mass but that probably won't happen before the wedding. I've got two weeks to tone up, and it sounds easy enough, but I ache like hell. I just keep telling myself pain is the cleanser - Off to the gym!