The Durban Affair - A Rather Disjointed Account

One of the good things about Alphonse was that he knew a lot of interesting people. One of those people was Carlo, I'll call him that because I don't remember his name. Anyway, Carlo was a waiter like Alphonse but he'd been around a lot longer and really knew the best stuff to eat and the places to eat it.

I was sacked from my job last week because it was "beneath" me to continue in that role. No joke, my boss told me she didn't want me to commit to the job because I was too good for it. On my way home from class the night before, I was in a positively continental mood so I popped by Ayako's workplace and bought a ficelle and some Cambozola cheese. Carlo introduced me to this cheese and it has to be the best treat a cheese lover can find. Of course, Carlo served it on a plate with assorted prosciutti and olives and stuff which only made the cheese better.

I really don't know what's wrong with Sissy. I could live in Paris on bread, butter and cheese, and maybe a little jam and I'd be happy. It adds to the whole French experience. Sissy and I weren't even in Paris for two days and she was already more interested in finding a McDonald's than the Eiffel Tower. She ate burgers and fries for lunch and dinner for the next three days, and religieuses for breakfast.

I guess now would be as good a time as any to describe Ayako's workplace, since I'll be spending a lot more time and a lot more money there. It's the sort of place where one can take lunch and watch the rock stars, athletes and various associates mill about. It's a place where employees won't eat because it's too expensive. It's also the kind of place where the following dilemma and conversation might take place:

Mink flanks and civet - 47 different types of civet, but no plain civet in the shop. Civet with mushroom, civet in oil, civet in tomato sauce but no fresh civet.

Close up of hanging sign reading "Aisle 12 - Mink flanks, Civet" etc. pans down to a male customer and male employee in the aisle

Pompous Old Englishman: Ahem, excuse me young man. You seem to be full out of mink today.
Shop Assistant: Ah yes. The mink delivery didn't make it today. The delivery company had problems at the farm.
POE: I see, well what do you recommend?
SA: We have some very nice civet. What did you have in mind?
POE: Erm, well I'm making my wife a special anniversary dinner, but she had her heart set on mink flank steak.
SA: Might I suggest these marinated civet medallions with a pasta on the side?
POE: Well, that does sound delicious! What kind of vegetable does one serve with medallions?
SA: Why, fiddleheads of course!
POE: Ha ha! Well played.
SA: Aisle 6...

End scene

So this is the kind of stuff that the ultra rich are eating, and Ayako is only one such person who has to deal with it on a daily basis, and pay seven dollars for a tea bag. It's also the reason why normal people generally don't shop there. I mean, the rest of us can get by with three types of civet, four tops.

The other night, things really changed between me and Ayako. She announced that she loves cheese and the next day she told me she was on a diet. As far as I can tell, you can't diet and eat lovely cheeses - and you probably shouldn't diet when you already weigh 87 pounds. I took her to a Japanese restaurant and had kani miso, nattou and some other things. Ayako ordered beef tongue but just as I thought we'd hit the Yong Fook trifecta, the very fetching waitress informed us that they were out of tongue. The waitress reminded me of someone I used to work with but only hotter because my ex-coworker had a boyfriend. We had steak instead, and I drove Ayako home. On the way, I got lost but also saw a guy walking around with a cat on his shoulder. How many times do you see this in your life? I've seen this exactly 3 times. Two different guys, two different cats. These cats were probably the smart kind that know how to use the toilet too, but the first one was a tabby that was perfectly happy cruising around on the shoulders of a guy in downtown rush hour. The second cat was black and was only out late at night in a residential area of downtown.

The day after the nattou incident, I also learned that Ayako likes Mexican food. I took her window shopping, and after introducing her to the local Burberry's shop, she treated me to a Mexican feast. We left soon after the entertainment began. I didn't want Ayako to go home so I showed her the rare video shop, and another Japanese restaurant that was allegedly closed even though the sign said "open", and then took her to a good dessert place that an old friend Calvin had introduced me to. I had wanted to take my ex-coworker there, but she had a boyfriend, and it was probably all for the best because they had changed the set-up. The dessert menu was served at a different location. Ayako and I went down there and took afters. I had a lemon dacquoise and a Vietnamese coffee, while Ayako blew her diet and her mind with a lemon cheesecake and tea. I don't know if I like the new set-up. I mean under the old scheme, my friends and I could sit and chat and take coffee, and then sit and talk more and maybe have another drink on the patio and staff wouldn't say a thing. Now the new shop is run by someone who thinks they're freaking Magnolia or something because there is a "polite" note at each table requesting that customers stay for no more than 30 minutes, and the waitress flings the bill at you before you've finished your drink. Since we were in the neighbourhood and since Ayako wants to know more on my backstory, I took her around to my childhood home and elementary school. The house isn't there anymore, but Ayako knew that. She loved my school.

So as I sit here with bruised ribs, bruised knees and a bruised spine I must be crazy about Ayako. All of a sudden there are not enough hours in a day to do the things I had plenty of time to do before, and I catch myself experimenting with new hairstyles, window shopping, and singing Beatles' songs just because Ayako asks.