First Impressions

I'm good at them. I occasionally depend on them. But sometimes they come back to bite me in the ass.

I woke to the musical stylings of The Kooks at full volume in my ears yesterday morning. I shot up as my eyes screamed open only to see Ali giggling at the corner of the bed, holding my iPod.

"Moshi moshi Fatty! Make my breakfast. Vanilla Earl Grey please, and only one piece of toast with jam as usual -- don't forget to cut off the crust", she said with a smile on her face.

"Ummm... yeah", I said vacantly.

"Before your shower!" she reminded me.

"For crying out loud. Juwant milk?"

"No. I have good news! Chisato is coming back to visit and this time Mummy's coming too!"

"Nande? Chisato just left. How can your family...? Oh, yeah... right".

"Chisato told my mum all about you and she gave such a high opinion that mum wants to meet you herself. And since you think Chisato is a princess, that makes my mum the Queen".

My first instinct was to explain the rules of Succession and say, "Not necessarily Dear -- just ask Princess Beatrice", because you can be a princess and still not be the daughter of the Queen. But I let it go because I was more interested in finding my tooth brush.

"Oh, and since Mummy doesn't speak English, I expect you to speak Japanese, okay? Is the kettle on?"

"Hhhhhhhhhhkuso", I mumbled and stumbled my way into the kitchen.

This all would have been fine except that yesterday afternoon the dealership called begging me to bring the Jeep in on Friday rather than Saturday. One problem - I have to work that day and I don't take the bus any more like Enzo doesn't eat pineapple - it would kill me. The service guy was between a rock and a hard place (presumably a place with a telephone) but quickly came up with an answer. Five star service I must say - he offered me his manager's Jeep Commander for the day. Ungrateful little sod that I can be, I asked for something smaller on account of I just had an accident a few weeks ago. We hammered out a deal so that I could take the Commander for the day and nobody's manager would be the wiser. Pretty lucky, ungrateful sod, me. That clears up the weekend for a trip to Oyster Bay to finally use that gift certificate and clears up next week to spend with Chisato and her mum - so it's all good. I actually get along pretty well with most of my girlfriends' mums so I'm not worried except that, well, this is probably different. And I can't speak Japanese - yet.