A Wasted Trip

I suppose it had to happen eventually. I ended up with two really bad movies last week. I thought I would be cheeky and get some rentals on Wednesday, when the rates are cheap. Well, I probably should have stayed home and saved a couple bucks. The first one was Archangel starring Daniel Craig. The box cover said this was going to be an intriguing spy mystery with shocking results. Well, I found out later that it was a made-for-television two part miniseries and that probably explains the absolute lack of intrigue and cliff hangers. Briefly, the film follows the story of a Danish historian who is an expert on Stalinist Soviet Union. He hears about a diary that promises to reveal a side of Stalin that not many people knew before. So far, so good. The story continues to lead the professor, the daughter of his initial contact, and a plucky reporter on a journey to Archangel where they would find the son of Stalin. This is all intermixed with a political understory which claims that Russia is waiting for the return of Communism, in particular the return of Stalin or his son. Pretty weak. Maybe it's because I like car chases or whatever, because there were none in this movie. Anyway, the daughter and the professor know that Stalin cannot return to power. They are taken to a rally where supporters of the new Stalin are waiting. The daughter is able to move around the rally unnoticed and climbs a staircase where she can get a clear shot at Stalin with her dad's Makarov. I guess a headshot would have been too graphic for British television. Stalin takes one to the chest and the rise of Communism is finished before it starts again. I forget exactly how long this film was, but it sure took a long time to work up to such a quick, neat ending. Weak.

The next film I watched was Kaidan nobori ryu. One of it's many English titles is The Blind Woman's Curse. I'm not going to hide it, I fell asleep during this movie. The original draw to this film was Meiko Kaji, who would go on a few years later to film Joshuu 701-gô: Sasori or Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion. She also lost a lot of weight because it wasn't until after the film that I could figure out which character she was. Probably the only other notable bit is the appearance of Yoshi Kato. He plays Jutaro Mitsui, a noodle shop owner and I think a former member of the Tachibana clan. Many years later, Kato would play the noodle-making master in Juzo Itami's Tampopo. In Kaidan nobori ryu, Kaji plays Akemi Tachibana the new leader of the Tachibana clan. Some years before she tried to avenge the death of her father and probably did. It's hard to follow the sword play, that's one of the things that makes this movie so bad. She ends up cutting a young woman across the face and blinds her. A black cat laps the blood from the girl's face and haunts Akemi for the rest of it's life. There's a secondary story line where one of the Tachibana clan makes a deal with a new clan to use a third gang to defeat the Tachibana clan and destroy itself in the process. A kind stranger comes to the aid of the hapless Tachibana gang and ends up foiling the plan. The blinded woman has sworn to find Akemi and kill her. She has a hunchback who follows her around and helps her, but one day he goes a little to far and is banished by the blind woman. She meets up with Akemi and the stage is set for a duel. The black cat distracts Akemi and the blind woman cuts her, right across the eyes of the dragon in the tattoo on her back. Symbolism. Weak. Akemi asks the blind woman to finish her, but the blind woman takes pity. I think that's the end. It ended abruptly anyway. Apparently, there is quite a bit of humour in this film, but I didn't see any. All I remember is the really bad sword play, and the stupid cat which is hilariously fake in many shots. Hmmm, I guess there was some humour after all. This film was good for a nap and that's about it. I'm still a fan of Meiko Kaji, just like my mother-in-law who knows Kaji as an Enka singer. She's more famous that way.