If You Want to See it, it's There

Another week, another movie. This week, I saw Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit. I don't know which is worse - the 6-year old in the balcony singing his own version of lyrics by the Mad Stuntman, or the fact that I was duped into watching a second movie starring Ralph Fiennes. That's right, in his most gripping performance ever, Fiennes provides the voice-over for Victor Quartermaine - ultimate bad guy. The film made its dubious Vancouver debut at the Van East cinema.
Before I get started, I have actually found a cinema that doesn't charge you an arm and a leg to see a movie. Van East is one of those cinemas. If I wanted to see this film at Tinseltown or at a chain theatre, I would have had to pay almost 50% more. But Van East is a small screen theatre, and doesn't have high-backed recliners that some people might actually pay $3.50 more to experience. I'm old school so I don't mind the small screen. What I did mind was that I was the first person to enter the theatre, and I chose my seat. The second person could have sat anywhere ELSE in the theatre, but no. He had to sit directly in front of me, jerk. I hope the brats in the balcony threw food on you as well.
So how do you go about getting a G rating on porn? Do it in plasticine and nobody will be the wiser. Yup, Wallace and Gromit is just a thinly veiled excuse for porn (not to mention racism). Before I write any further, I would, for legal reasons, like to point out that any references to porn in this posting are made solely in a humourous sense. Admittedly, you have to be looking for the porn in order to see it, but I saw it so it was there. Wanna see rabbits have sex? You don't have to go to Delta house parties anymore for that, but if you do go, you will also answer the question of how to fit 4 grown people in an MR2. Again, you don't actually see it, but the suggestion is there. Gromit runs around the town in a giant fake bunny suit, and is chased by an amourous were-rabbit. If that's not bunny sex, I don't know what is.There were also several instances of melon grabbing, and even a nun-porn loving vicar. Along with the porn, there was also a reference made which some may construe as racist, and another which might be considered disparaging to the disabled. The only Indian in the film is a news agent. OK, I never saw him selling newspapers but he was wearing the brown shop coat that many news agents in the UK wear. For a good example of this coat, see Shaun of the Dead. Is that the only role they could get for this guy? Surely he could have been like, a diplomat but they typecast him instead. Oh, and then Ralph Fiennes' character ran around with a turban made of candy floss toward the end.The movie borrows from prior works featuring Wallace and Gromit, so you may want to watch "The Wrong Trousers", "A Grand Day Out" and "Close Shave" first. The plot also borrowed from other films which was pretty unoriginal, but added to the humour (I guess). I suppose if they call it an homage, then it isn't copyright infringement. I laughed out loud during the classic Kris moment. I won't tell you which moment it is because you might not agree it is classic Kris, and you might not even know Kris, and I don't want to ruin the movie. Wallace and Gromit are the only two recurring characters in the film. Sadly, Shaun the intrepid lamb was not in the cast this time, and Wallace has a new love-interest so Wendolene Ramsbottom is out of the picture. Can I give it a bad rating? No. Despite the blatant porn (which I might just be taking out of context), the film was pretty good. If you've got kids, or appreciate the creative process, or just like Wallace and Gromit, then you should take a couple hours to watch this movie.