I've Finally Reached That Age

I've finally reached that age where I'm too young to date, and at the same time too old. Not too long ago that I remember women telling me that I was too young to date. No lie. At this stage, I haven't actually been told that I'm too old but it's just around the corner. The other day, my friend Yumi told me that I remind her of her father. WHAT?? I'm the same age as her, what is she talking about. Due to a language barrier, she can't explain what she means but I know it's not good. I don't remind her of her father in the same way as oh, I don't know, a mum-and-dad-taking-the-kids-to-the-beach-for-a-barbecue kind of way. I remind her of her dad in that kind of lazy bastard fuck-off-kid-you-can-buy-your-own-damn-trainers kind of way. I thought that was rather unfair, afterall we've only known each other for two months, and we're not even that close. She told me that every guy reminds her of her father in some way. That didn't make me feel better, it actually made me feel bad for her. Just when I thought we were one step away from a couch session, she took that step and asked me if any of my girlfriends reminded me of my mother. Um, I didn't even know where to begin telling her what was wrong with that question. I thought maybe there was a language problem, and asked her to repeat the question. She meant what she asked, and so I explained that no, my girlfriends don't remind me of my mum. I guess I'll just have to accept it, and not freak out the next time a woman tells me I remind her of her dad, or even worse, wants to call me Daddy. Ewwwwwwwwww.
The latest film I saw is The Weather Man. I wrote in an earlier post that I don’t think Nicolas Cage is a fantastic actor, but I can’t say why I feel that way. It probably has something to do with the fact that he reminds me of somebody from my high school acting classes. Even though I can’t say who exactly that student was, that must be the reason why I have preconceived notions of Nic Cage’s acting ability. Or maybe there’s something to it. In his review of the film, a local film critic said that Cage had become a self-parody long ago. I guess that means Cage comes across as larger than life on screen. That’s not a bad thing. In fact, Cage is a very good actor. I didn’t believe what the critic had to say about the film for a few reasons. Right off the bat, he used his camera time to talk about Brad Pitt’s film currently filming in Canada and started to ridicule Winnipeg. Okay, some people don’t like Winnipeg. I don’t know why, but I’m sure they have their reasons. But what pissed me off is that the guy started to backtrack on his bashing. See, he quickly realized that his employer, or at least the newspaper he works for and the television network he appears on are based in Winnipeg. Its one thing to express an opinion, but to self-censure because he wants to cow-tow deserves no respect. He said something semi-offensive, but he should have the guts to stand by it. So right away, this guy’s review means nothing to me. That, and the fact that his review completely negated the things that Nic Cage said about the film the night before on David Letterman. It’s an opinion, so you don’t expect two points of view to be exactly the same, but to completely contradict the opinion of someone else made me wonder if this guy saw the same film.
I first mentioned this film in a previous post because I saw the trailer. There are a couple of things I hate about trailers. Sometimes, the trailer leads a viewer to believe the film is about one thing, but then actually ends up being about something else. But even worse, is the music. A song by Iggy Pop is predominantly featured in the trailer, a song which happens to be quite good and meaningful. I expected it to be in the film, sort of over top of a time-lapse montage. Nope, instead 30 seconds or less of the song is used in a mall shopping scene. Fooled me again. I think that the choice of music for a film soundtrack is important, and it seems that more and more people are feeling the same way nowadays. Maybe it’s just that Hollywood has decided that it cannot improve on plot, on acting and has decided that it will pay more attention to music. I might do a movie one day, and the first thing I try to figure out after I’ve got a scene in my head is the music. I’ve walked out of a theatre too many times wondering where I can find a particular song that I’ve realized that music is important to a movie. Despite the short rendition of Passenger, Hans Zimmer uses a pleasant little reggae dub throughout the film. This is the kind of music I was talking about when I was trying to explain a concept to Jason that night at the after party at Spanish Banks. I don’t think he quite understood what I meant, or maybe he just saw it from a different point of view, but he raised some good points.
The theatre: I couldn’t decide between Prime and The Weather Man, but both were playing at the Paramount. I was shocked to discover that the Capitol 6 has been shut, but relieved that they have replaced it with the Paramount. I saw The Aristocrats at the Paramount with my friend Kris, thanks to some free passes. Kris treated me to Taco Bell on our “date”. I don’t know why he kept using that word, I didn’t care for it. If I were in charge of a cinema multiplex, tacos would be near the bottom of the list of foods that I would want people bringing into the cinema. I paid a reasonable $10.95 to see The Weather Man, and it’s a good thing that I didn’t book the ticket on line because it would have cost more. I initially chose to watch Prime thinking there would be a large number of triggers, but while I was standing in the queue, a genie loudly announced that no more tickets were available for the 7:00 screening. Right. I’ll have to watch The Weather Man. As I stood in the queue, I noticed that the ticket agents were all wearing Hallowe’en costumes. They were all pretty standard characters from various films, hence the genie but I couldn’t figure out who the woman in a crimson business suit, reddish hair and big glasses was meant to be. It just so happened that I ended up at her wicket and saw her name tag. She was meant to be Tootsie. I told her she had a great costume, and asked her if there were still tickets for The Weather Man. She said yes, and I asked her what time it was. She said, “It’s ten past”, in a sophisticated English accent and I nearly fainted. I grabbed the counter, waited for my knees to steady and took my ticket. See, I have a thing for certain accents. I found a seat in time to see a trailer for The Family Stone. This movie is starring former 3-2-1 Contact superstar Sarah Jessica Parker and Dermot Mulroney. It’s about a guy who brings his girlfriend home to meet the family for the holidays. It seems like a pretty good film, but maybe that’s just because it reminds me of some people I met once. I’ll probably see that one, after Syriana. This is George Clooney’s new film, fresh on the heels of Good Night, and Good Luck. This is the film that he had to gain 30 pounds for, and I’m banking on some good cloak and dagger intrigue from this film. This is going to sound a bit weird, but George Clooney reminds me of a young Sean Connery. He combs his hair the same way, and could probably pull off a good James Bond. Why didn’t they offer him the role? They may have, but he probably wouldn’t take it. Clooney is determined to make socially redeeming films, which is why he did Good Night, and Good Luck.
And now we go to the dark place: I mentioned above that the theatre staff were dressed in costume. It wasn’t Hallowe’en, it was October 29. This happens to be my ex-girlfriend’s birthday, and this year she turned 30. I get a lot of flack about getting over this woman, but I have to say it, I’ll probably never get over her. She was a phenomenal person. She was so great that she could make time stand still. In fact, that’s exactly what she did on October 29, 2005. She made time stand still for an hour. So that was part of the reason why I went to watch the film. I was determined to get my mind off of the fact that it was her birthday. It didn’t work. As you read on, you will discover triggers. I’ve based my writing around triggers before, but I think it either becomes too much for readers who are familiar with the triggers so they stop reading, or it alienates readers who have no idea what the trigger signifies that they just stop reading because they can’t identify. Either way, I think I’m going to drop the trigger motif or maybe use it not so much. The date was only part of what reminded me of Chie. I went out for lunch with some of my classmates and the teacher to a Japanese restaurant. I’ve tried to avoid it in the past because they advertise “all you can eat” sushi which has never been a very appetizing idea for me, but they have a regular menu before 6:00 p.m. so we went there for lunch. My absolute favourite Japanese dish is Donburi Katsudon, and I’ve only ever had it properly two or three times in my city. It consists of rice, rice noodles, a little sweet broth, a sliced pork cutlet with an egg cracked over top. The problem is that most places where you can actually get Japanese food OTHER THAN SUSHI will not serve katsudon. They might have oyakodon (chicken), but the idea of serving donburi with a deep fried pork cutlet on top is considered a little too foreign for westerners. I guess restauranteurs figure they wouldn’t be able to move enough of the product. I do know a place that will do it, but his shop is a hole in the wall and he doesn’t have enough room for a fryer. When he does it, there is no egg and no noodles or broth, just rice and cutlet. Well, now I know where to get katsudon and it’s a leisurely 15 minute stroll from my flat. If I start dating again, I will definitely go there with Miki.
The cast: If you haven’t figured it out by now, the film stars Nicolas Cage as Dave Sprtiz, the weather man, Michael Caine f.k.a Maurice Micklewhite as his father and renown author Robert, and Gil Bellows as the teen-counseling pedophile. Other people you may have heard of in the film include Hope Davis, Michael Rispoli and SpongeBob Squarepants.
The film: The film opens with Dave brushing his teeth in the mirror practicing his game face. He practices different expressions with the word “refreshing”, and then flashes a toothy smile. Instantly, this is a film I’m going to like. I get up in the morning and practice my game face too, except my word begins with an “S”, and sometimes a “W” and I don’t smile. I have a less than impressive smile. Dave is waiting for a call from a New York television show. He received a “feeler” from the show and is now hoping that he will be called to work on the east coast where he can make more money. It took me a little while to decide that the film was not done in Vancouver. It was hard at first, but then the lakefront kinda gave it away. All the other scenes could have been done in Vancouver except the lakefronts. The wide aerials could have been done by a second unit and edited into the film, and I was stumped again by the location of the wife’s house. There are at least two neighborhoods in Vancouver where the house could have been, but I resigned myself to the fact that Home Alone and a lot of John Hughes’s films were done in similar locations in and around Chicago so it might actually be that Chicago and Vancouver have some similar areas. In fact, the film was meant to be done in Canada, but Cage and director Gore Verbinski nixed it because they felt it would not be realistic enough. I’m glad, because the lakefront features prominently throughout the film.
Dave Spritz doesn’t like what he has become. He hopes that by moving to New York, he will be able to save his marriage and make something of himself. He doesn’t like being a weatherman in Chicago. People throw food at him, and expect him to be “on” all the time. I really don’t understand why this concept is so hard to grasp for the general public. Here’s the rule that I follow: If you see a celebrity out and about, not at an official function, say hello and leave them alone. Don’t even ask for an autograph. They are carrying on as private citizens, and deserve the same level of privacy that the rest of us have become accustomed to. The paparazzi have their own rules based on judicial code, and that’s fine for them, but I think the rest of society can have a little decency and treat celebrities just like they treat the barista at Starbucks – no more, no less. Say hello, pay for the extra-hot triple espresso, and move along to the drink pick-up counter. Back to Dave Spritz. Spritz isn’t his real name, and he doesn’t want to use it because his father Robert Spritzel, a Pulitzer-winning author already uses it. Dave wants to do more than be a weatherman, and has written a book. It’s not a very good book, but it’s good to Dave, and will come into play later in the film. Robert Spritzer is a fiction writer. My dad is a fiction writer. He started out writing what amounted to scientific field studies, but in his later years found that fiction was his calling. I have to take all responsibility for that, not that I want to. Somehow, I think that if I had not shown him a tenuous causal link between him and a part of English history, he would still be spending his spare time playing Age of Empires and watching A&E.
The Spritz family is falling apart, and Dave wants to change it. He attends counseling classes with his wife, from whom he is separated. The class doesn’t go well, and his wife eventually accepts a marriage proposal from another dude. Dave tries to bond with his daughter through archery classes. Trigger. Dave’s daughter loses interest easily, probably because she is not an instant expert. If I were Dave, I would have tried to encourage her more but the archery just becomes a metaphor for Dave’s own problems. My ex-girlfriend was an archer. Not olympic or anything, but in high-school she kicked ass and was tops in her prefecture. She hates Winnipeg. You know your city has an insect problem when a tourist comes all the way from Japan, and the only thing they have to say about it is "too many mosquitoes". There was no way I was going to get her off my mind if this archery thing continued. Dave tries to bond with his son by beating the crap out of the son’s drug and alcohol counselor who happens to be a pedophile. Dave actually does something meaningful he figures, and succeeds in bonding with his son. Then Dave goes into a speech about how his life is like all the fast food that people throw at him. It was actually a very good comparison, but I can’t remember the details now. The film continues with another curve ball for Dave. His father is diagnosed with lymphoma, and expects to die soon. At the living funeral, Dave’s speech is interrupted by a power outage and he loses his chance to tell his father and his father’s friends how he really feels about Robert. But his dad tries, and gives Dave another chance to explain his speech. Dave explains the best he can, and then Robert goes into a speech about how life is what life is, and we all have to do the best we can, doing what we’re best at, the typical we-can’t-all-be-Pulitzer-Prize-winners speech. Dave gets it, really gets it and takes the job in New York. Dave comes to the realization that when he was young, there were so many opportunities that he could have become anything but that as life goes on, things change and you end up being what you are. The film ends with him discovering his place in life, a weather man. I left the theatre, this time politely letting others go before me. On the way out, I grabbed some free samples of Garnier Fructis Hard Glue EXTREME, considered it a challenge and walked home sipping a grande Kenya. I wasn’t impressed with the gel because it took awhile to set, but after about 20 minutes I was convinced that this hair gel lived up to its extreme rating. I’ll still use my regular styling pomade because it is non-alcohol based and is easier to wash out even though it looks like drywall putty.
There are a couple of disturbing moments in the film, apart from the scene where Gil Bellows is taking pictures of a shirtless minor. Some right-wing readers may take exception to the fact that the homosexual icon SpongeBob Squarepants is in the film, and may claim that The Weather Man only serves to further the gay and lesbian agenda. SpongeBob is in the film, but he doesn’t say a word, so don’t worry about it. I neither agree nor disagree with the view that SpongeBob Squarepants promotes alternative lifestyles. I only make mention of it here so that people who find the character objectionable will avoid watching the film. There’s another topic which I think was probably unnecessary, or perhaps could have been dealt with in a different way in the film, but I won’t go into it here. I don’t know how to say what I want to say about it. All I can say is go watch the film.